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Want To Find The Love Of Your Life? You Need The Right Bait!

Updated: Jul 19, 2021

In every relationship class that I teach, I make sure to explain that how we present ourselves is extremely important. People tend to think that if they look as dazzling as a movie star, they would get more dates. I tell my students that for every gorgeous guy or girl you see, there is probably someone who has no interest in dating them anymore. For example, a stunningly beautiful woman can be in a relationship with some guy who ends up being repulsed by her. Or, an unattractive woman could have a stimulating conversation with a guy who is in awe of her. So you need to choose the focus of how you present yourself, in order to give you the best chance to marry the love of your life!


The dating world has changed over the last 20 years. Today many people meet through dating websites and apps. But has the accessibility to finding a date increased your chance of getting married? It used to be simple: if you found someone that was nice and had a job, you married them! Today’s singles are less likely to settle for someone that people may have settled for in the past. Singles today are not so quick to get married because dating is easily accessible and people are busy with their careers. People are looking for particular preferences in a spouse, but in order to find someone right for you, you can’t just use any kind of bait.


In my twenties, I used to lift a lot of weights and developed big muscles. So when I went out, I would make sure to wear clothes that would accentuate my muscles. It was certainly great for my ego and I was able to attract women, but did I have the right bait? Was I attracting the right women? Were my dates attracted to me because of my intellect or because of my big muscles? Not only did I NOT meet the love of my life, I was stuck in this constant loop of meeting people who didn’t connect to me on an emotional or intellectual level. I did not have the right bait on my fishing line. I certainly caught “fish”, but unfortunately they were not my favorite kind of fish. I was catching a Filet-O-Fish sandwich when I really wanted seared halibut. It was only when I matured, that I realized that if I wanted to marry the right person, I needed to focus less on my body and more on my soul. Although I was still far away from the personal growth that I achieved many years later, I knew deep down that focusing on my physique while dating would end up being a losing proposition.


Not only do you need the right bait, but you also need to be fishing in the right waters. You won’t catch king salmon in a pond and you won’t catch a rainbow trout in the ocean. If you want to marry someone who is in great shape, you need to go to the gym or be involved in fitness activities. If you want to marry a bookworm, you need to go to the library or a bookstore.


If you use the right bait, you will attract the right person. You have to decide if you want someone to be attracted to you for your looks or for your brains. If you want to marry someone who is attracted to your body, then that’s the kind of bait you would need to show. You would need to dress in a way that shows off your body. You certainly will increase your chance of getting married, but will this relationship be the love of your life? The Ten Steps will guide you to find the person who is attracted to the REAL you, because that’s the person who will be the love of your life. This is a person who is attracted to your intellect, your soul. The person who marries you because they were attracted to your body is more likely to end up as a marriage statistic! So, what bait do you need to use to attract someone to the real you?


If you want your true personality to shine, you need to downplay your appearance by dressing modestly. This means that you dress in a way that doesn’t call unnecessary attention to yourself. It allows all the other parts of you to shine. It doesn’t allow the physical part of you to overshadow the part of you that is the most important, your true self. When you dress modestly, your intellectual and emotional self will be the focus, not your body. It doesn’t mean that you have to dress in an armored suit or a Muslim hijab; it just means that you save your physical body for that special person. This will put you in a better position of connecting with someone on an intellectual level and allow you to meet the love of your life!



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